Lifestyle
The new MINI Cooper will feature a drainable floor mat allowing you to urinate in traffic
Cro-Magnon went extinct from not being able to keep their massive 19 to 41 inch penises erect long enough to you know what — “Kinda hot and sad”, Bill Nye tweeted
Due to the possibility of AI inventing a time machine, a new law has been implemented allowing sexual intercourse with pre-humans, because scientists think we may find them irresistible which got the senate to come back from recess a week early
“It’s almost as bad as incest” is what someone yelled at us regarding the new Instagram Reels trend known as SWGS (sex with giant salamanders). We disagree. Incest is way better
Over 74,000 people sign petition for UK supermarket chain ASDA to change its name to Ass Duh
GoFundMe launched for man whose ladder was stolen
Party City just released their new costumes for Halloween 2020 and sexy burlap lamp shade is already out of stock
The man who almost cut his hair no longer has to
Life hack: No clean spoons? Go grab a flute and rip off a few of these things
Biden makes sure he’s seen praying to Jah any time he’s around a black guy with dreads
The road that many thought led nowhere actually leads to a big old mound of Pogs
The water we keep leading our horses to has enough cocaine to fail most drug tests
Dr. Mario’s father tried getting Dr. Mario’s mother to abort Dr. Mario 23 years before he was the man we know as Dr. Mario
Stuck in a bathroom with a bad guy on the other side? Experts say to use a hinge pin to shove in eye and then run out screaming, because those same experts say not even a bad guy wants to deal with a person who would do such a thing
Lightbulb shortage forces some people to make television lamps
Male Gynecologists will all be cancelled by 2023, scatter plot hypothesizes
John Basetow’s nephew starts “All Abs Matter” movement after developing Messiah Complex at spiritual gathering
Cups with built-in straws are too big to fit inside a turtle’s mouth, unless it bites off the straw part
