Monthly Archive: October 2020
A new start-up is paying people to gossip about their neighbor’s dogs in hopes that it will drive traffic to thousands of under-utilized animal behavior therapists
There may be a sloth piggy bank shortage, but you’d think quite the contrary if you were to visit your local Hobby Lobby
Alpha waves have been beta this entire time
Amazon bans the sale of legal aged silicone masturbatory vaginas just weeks before the election causing some political commentators to ponder whether or not this is good or bad for radical pedophilia
Nature Valley’s family pack includes a dustpan, but you need to mail in 4 UPCs to receive broom
Thousands boycott Cafe Gratitude all because “cum for me” is now the required phrase to get extra icing
Carpet manufacturers are now including bottles of dye to bleach and re-dye your carpet, instead of using a carpet cleaner, which is expected to bankrupt Bissell by 2023
The new MINI Cooper will feature a drainable floor mat allowing you to urinate in traffic
Rust-oleum wins bid to repaint The White House, but now Trump gets to decide on it being chiffon cream or alabaster
The Hydrogenated Tallow Acid in Irish Spring’s original soap is derived from cows that have a direct ancestral link to ones owned by the guy who bullied Hitler and made fun of his paintings
Why would a chickenhawk be photographed leaving Chris Cristie’s New Jersey mansion at 2:49am? Is he cheating on Mary Pat?!?
Broward County Police Department to phase out white officers by 2023
An early Fantastic Four comic has predicted nothing yet but we’re looking
New dog breed features hairy, curly penis above its butt which will make doggie style a weird thing moving forward
Firestone unveiled new thinner but thicker tire at Zoom Zoom Zoom 2020
Alcohol prep pad company goes out of business after not being able to afford a new perforation blade
Bye-bye Hydroxychloroquine, hello barium in the butt? Trump tweeted then deleted his support of the procedure saying that he and Melania have “several inches of barium in our butts right this very moment”
UH OH. Trump forgot his iPhone charger before going into quarantine
